Archive for the the funnies category
i am big time!
by josh on August 14th, 2009
….you know you’ve made it in this town when……
your work can be seen inside of a bus stop. haha!
a couple weeks ago i threw together a little poster for this funny girl friend of mine. i’ve helped her with some contact cards and stuff in the past….so apparently she likes coming to me when it involves the illusion of her being naked…on a poster. ha!
anyways, another friend of ours snapped this photo as she was out and about in LA today.
how funny…..
here’s the original thing in all it’s naked goodness:
i hate LA too.
by josh on July 18th, 2009
this is golden….i am thinking this girl needs to be my wife. hot damn!
solid jose moment.
by josh on July 3rd, 2009
jose’s (my co-worker) been getting some scamming bank calling him like 3 times a day for the last month. this is one of the sweet interactions he had with it. even funnier…is i am pretty sure all the little interns think we are nuts cause they overheard all of this. ahahahah!
i know how this goes though. i kept getting phone calls from some drive financial group looking for some dude that owed them money. it was ridiculous as they would call literally 5 times a day. needless to say….i feel for the dude, it’s close to the most annoying thing in the world.
sweet “mistress of the road” is back!
by josh on May 27th, 2009
so i made some retarded video like a year ago….maybe 3 or 4 of you saw it.
but it was just me driving to work one morning and bitching at ppl. there was one point in it where i mentioned my “mistress of the road” though…
backstory: there is this girl i see almost everyday on my way to work. we get on the main drag at that same point, and like clockwork…..she’s like always there. now, it was over a year ago that i first noticed her.
however, on memorial day last year….we started this new friday’s off work thing at my work. so to make up the time of a free day off….we had to come in earlier. so, i didn’t get to see my “mistress of the road” for like the last 9 months. my schedule was off from hers. now…my schedule is back to normal, and…..
SHE’S BACK BABY!
see….the thing is….i am not sure if i only noticed her because she’s decent looking and drives the kind of BMW i like….but it’s really not even about that.
i seriously find something fascinating about these situations. i mean, i’ve seen her on the road probably 6 times in the last 2 weeks. to the point where it’s almost disappointing to me when i don’t see her. i know, sounds retarded…..but i know she notices me too. because the chick can actually drive (when she isn’t putting on make up at the light!), and usually ends up getting behind me and following me the entire way until i turn off.
but what’s so fascinating about this to me….is just the fact there is some stranger out there that has become a good 15 mins of my day….and all without ever saying a thing to one another.
i used to ride the bus back in milwaukee….and would run into similar people and situations all the time….but we always at least ended up chatting at some point.
this is different tho. i like the fact i can’t say anything to her. i like the mystery behind the whole deal…..and i love the fact we both eventually turn off the road from one another….and carry on with our lives as normal. only to usually see each other back at the same stoplight the next day.
it’s something simple that makes the day start as right as a cup of coffee.
i don’t think ppl really take the time to pay attention to these kinda of situations around them….and that’s a shame. or maybe i pay too much attention to these things…and should be full of shame?
either way….maybe tomorrow…i’ll just smile at her.
seth on maher.
by josh on May 13th, 2009
this was a pretty great/funny segment from bill maher’s show over the weekend.
i am not really a family guy fan….every so often it’s got it’s good parts….but seth macfarlane is just a hilarious dude. hollywood needs more like him.
happy mother’s day!
by josh on May 10th, 2009
…and just to keep things in perspective….
-click to view-
love ya though, mom!
happy 420…..errr, a day late.
by josh on April 21st, 2009
i spent yesterday making fun of all the stoners that still play into this “420″ (april 20th) garbage. cause seriously….i think the whole thing is juvenile. “420 man!!! let’s get stoned!!!”
that said, i support the legalization of marijuana…..only because i don’t think it’s any worse than alcohol. that and, don’t wanna smoke it? don’t.
unfortunately these “420!” losers kill the persona of the weed smoker. sure there are cliches….and they all hold true…..but that doesn’t mean everyone who smokes (or has smoked) herb is just this braindead video game playing loser.
but on to the real point here……
family guy had a 420 tribute episode the other night. and needless to say….the shit was just hilarious. here’s a clip:
ps. side trivia note: family guy creator, seth mcfarlane…..was originally booked to be on the on sept. 11th, 2001 boston flight that ended up crashing into the world trade center. he overslept and missed the flight due to the some jack daniels the night before.
crazy……
pps. he told the story on adam carolla’s podcast recently…listen to it here. (warning: not work safe, f-bombs)
goddamn is it humbling though.
sarah silverman rockin’ maher.
by josh on March 15th, 2009
real time with bill maher is by far one of the best shows on tv. imo.
this last friday sarah silverman made an appearance.
she rules. simply put.
louis ck.
by josh on March 3rd, 2009
this dude is hilarious if you’ve never seen him. he had an hbo show (lucky louie) a few years back…..and of course it only lasted for one season. probably because i was the the only one that watched it.
either way, he’s got some dvd’s out and stuff, so if you ever come across him…..
-click to view-
…i recommend. the dude is hilarious.
tales from the car shop.
by josh on February 27th, 2009
i was planning on just watching baseball and doing nothing today. it being my last friday off. but eh….things changed.
i took off about 10am to head up to the car shop to get an oil change and some rear brake pads. you know, because that is just exactly what i wanted to spend $200 on.
you see, the car shop is a big deal for me. it is like one of my lone places of solace where i truly feel like a “real man”. i don’t really hang around any meatheads, so besides a little sports….i really don’t have many real “manly” conversations with ppl. sure there is the usual skirt glancing snicker, but that all changes when it comes to the car shop.
realize….i know nothing about cars. i don’t want to either. driving sucks….and i only own a car cause i have to.
but there is something great about my car shop experiences. i usually go in there on days when i don’t have shit to do….as i feel bad asking ppl to come pick me up from there just to waste time. so needless to say….the dudes there always give me shit and try to get me to help answer phones and junk while i am hanging out for hours. hahaha.
i respect these dudes though. i’ve been going to them for 6 years now, and even though i may be paying a little more than i could:
1. i like supporting the little local guy
2. i trust them. which is most important, cause i basically don’t trust any of these shady california pricks.
so i was sitting there with jay and jason……just shooting the shit.
(i am pretty sure it’s a man rule that you really don’t disclose the conversations at the car shop.)
seeing interesting characters and what not…..it was soon already noon.
i decided to go to denny’s for lunch. there is one just down the block from the car shop. however….that shit was weird too. i go in just to have a nice quiet lunch by myself…and naturally ppl feel the need to start talking to me.
this time it was an older (in their 50’s) couple in the booth next to me. i was trying not to overhear their conversation, but it sounded as if they were on a first date of sorts. at denny’s? i know, right?…..
but they were discussing all the typical “getting to know” you bullshit. which may be the single lamest conversation in the history of lame expected conversations….but i digress……
anyways…. they started talking to me, because they were talking about how asians and mexicans are taking over all of southern california. HAHAHAH! like, they started talking to me just because i was the only other cracka in there. realize, they weren’t being racist or anything….not by any means…..they were just stating facts. like how places they’ve lived and such are now being overrun by one race of ppl.
which is whatever. i see it happening in certain places too…..but what can ya do? i personally like diversity…..but a concentration of any race in any one place is not diverse.
so we chit chatted a bit about the ppl of socal and had some laughs…..like the crazy white folk we are.
…and then it was back to the car shop.
which brings up one story i can tell. only because it was in defense of everything that is unholy in the car shop. a woman!
this chick was trying to turn into the place and this dude behind her starts honking his horn while turning into the car shop himself. he gets out of his shitty truck and yells at the lady, “learn to fucking drive!”
of course i am sitting there just watching this whole ordeal unfold. the dude comes into the waiting area and starts bitching to me about “the bitch that can’t drive”. i just kinda chuckle as i notice the stupid plugs in his ears and his lame 6x too big skater jeans. someone obviously pissed in this dude’s cereal today.
jay, the car shop guy, summed it up better than i ever coulda…..he walks into the joint and says to the kid, “boy, some people just aren’t as good of drivers as you, huh?”
hahahaha, i bust up.
the lady? she was probably pushing her mid forties and didn’t get phased by him one bit. she made her way into the waiting area just as the punk douchebag was making his way out. of course, he didn’t have such a lip on him now that he was face to face with the lady. figures…..
she says hi to me, and i just smile. she mentions something about pissing this dude off and laughs about it.
“well, i am pretty sure his vagina is just hurt all over today…..”, i say….already realizing she’s a hip chick.
and naturally, because i am just so gosh darn funny….she busts up with what i can tell is a much needed laugh.
at this point, jay comes walking back in with the douche bag….and writes down an address for a different car shop while sending him on his way. HAHAHA…..i am again just laughing. the dipshit leaves…..and me, jay, and the lady share some more laughs at his expense.
“ooppppps, suddenly we are too busy to help him.” says jay.
no doubt. douche bags be gone. see, it just so happens…..this lady is also a long time customer like myself. so jay sent his ass packing instead of dealing with him further. as it should be.
by this time, my car was done and it was time to go visit my middle eastern homies at the 711 for beer and cigarettes.
but again….this is why i go to THIS SPECIFIC car shop. they are humble, they are cool, and really…..i enjoy just hanging out there at times. it’s my “man time”, hahaha!
….was a good last friday off. believe it or not.