shed a tear, pour out a little liquor.

by josh on September 25th, 2009

it’s a sad day in los angeles.

i just read in a LA times article (-found here-) that the bread and butter of the los angeles greeting commission is gonna be demolished, and turned into a parking lot!

that’s right…the colorful and inviting signs for the century lounge, a strip club right outside LAX, will be no longer.

makes me laugh because in the article it mentions the uproar a few years back over a “vaginas r’ us” sign they had. well, because i am a well informed dirtbag….i actually capped a picture of that sign when it was on the news 5 years ago. heh!!! you may have won this round, mr. uptight society!!!!! but the legacy will never vanish!!!

….you will be missed sweet nude vagina sign!

socal sleazebag of the month! sept. ‘09

by josh on September 17th, 2009

ah…..this one is a gem. from the ocregister article:

wtf is wrong with some people? apparently this wonderful mother was down and out about not being able to sell her “massage therapy” business, so she stabbed her kids. yikes, guess all those “happy endings” don’t always bring everyone blissful joy. hahaha. there is also mention of her dealing with a divorce and other things….but still, that kinda stuff happens to a lot of people. it’s not something to get all stabby over.

relax….take a break…..smoke a freakin’ joint for all i care…..BUT PUT THE KNIFE DOWN NUTSO! as you are the socal sleavebag of the month for sept. 2009!

i shoulda been a doctor.

by josh on September 15th, 2009

so…..i go to the doctor today for the first time in like 15 years. yeah, yeah, yeah…..i know, but i don’t really need to pay someone to tell me i need to stop smoking, stop drinking, and to start eating better.

but, i’ve had these kinda crazy headaches for the last 2 weeks so i figured it’d be a good idea to go make sure i am not dying. you see, i have a pretty decent health care plan….but since i am not from california, i had no idea where to start with picking a doctor. so what did i do? i picked the first name i could pronounce outta the little directory booklet my insurance gave me.

however, the worst thing i did was try to look for a doctor close to home. you see….here in wonderful ol’ anaheim….the doctors and people are not right out of a disneyland fairytale. nope, and in fact….how do i put this nicely? they are white trash scum and poor poverty stricken mexicans. sorry, but they are. i am not in charge of the demographic here….but for the most part that is what anaheim is.

so needless to say, i shoulda found some doctor in irvine or south county from the start. i thought i’d still see what this doctor had to offer though, and even tried to do a little research on him. i only found one review….and here it is in it’s entirety:

“Unbelievably cursory examination, and prescribes antibiotics without knowing whether they are needed. I was assigned this doctor by my HMO. I had an appointment for a sore throat. He literally “looked” at my throat from four feet away, said, “Whoa, yup. You’re infected,” and backed away from me. There’s no way he was close enough to see anything, and even if we were, what an unprofessional response. He then proceeded to write me two prescriptions, one for an antibiotic, without taking a culture or anything to see if the supposed infection was bacterial or not! It goes without saying, I switched doctors.My husband likes Dr. XXXXX, though. As he says, “You always walk out of there with at least one prescription.” Yup. Whether ya need it or not!”

ahhhh….what a refreshing review. anyone wanna take a guess at the interaction i had with him? yep….he looked at my throat….with a fucking ear examiner no less….said, “whoa, yep, that’s infected”…..and then wrote me 3 prescriptions for shit i probably don’t even need. i was a first time patient, and i think i talked to the doctor all of maybe 2 mins. at the most. i’ll take the antibiotics….as hopefully i just have a sinus infection…..but he also gave me some crazy nasal spray that i swear tastes like i just got done snorting dandelions….and then some codeine laced cough medicine, which is apparently for the cough….i don’t even have.

oh but wait….it gets better….(and sorry if this is a little bit of too much information as i don’t even care at this point), but i also mentioned to the good old doctor how my headaches are usually just lingering, but they are severely unbearable when humping and getting “excited”. he says, “are you taking any decongestants?” i say, “no….i just bought sudafed sinus heachache stuff yesterday, but otherwise no.” he says, “yep, those will raise your blood pressure and so does sex….so that’s why your headaches are worse then”.

huh? did you even listen to what i said doctor dickweed?!?!?!?!?

ugh…..so unfortunately this brings into light a whole other issue in the news lately. the health care reform. you see….i completely support a change in our health care system….and really….on the surface i support a public option too. however, then i had to deal with what you can probably expect from public option based practices today. again….not to be a dick…..but most of the other people in this doctor’s office were probably already on some kind of state or county funded health program. everyone is quickly packed in, handed a quick prescription, and then shoveled out on their way just like good little lab rats.

now that’s not to say the health care reform isn’t needed or there shouldn’t be a public option….but unfortunately i think i can assume what will happen if things aren’t explored past the surface of these proposals. it’ll be a free for all explosion for the poor…to the point where NO ONE will be receiving the adequate health care they need.

….and that sucks.

funny though….before going to the doctor i even tried to research things on my own. i went out and got vitamins to help with blood pressure and immune deficiency. i bought some dumb nasal spray and even just tried to spend my time on the couch taking it easy to cure this sickness. i coulda wrote the damn prescription myself and just said “google said so, now gimme the drugs i need and keep the ones that are irrelevant.”

but no….instead i needed to spend $35 to have the taste of dandelions dripping down my throat, some codeine i don’t need, and who even knows what kinda other diseases i got from the shitstained kids in the doctor’s waiting room. and i still can’t even get laid without it feeling like my brain is giving birth to some mutant devil spawn!!!!!

…..bah, screw it. imma just have a shot of blackberry brandy like grandma said. and hopefully grandma evolved her cure to include a mickey’s tall boy because at the moment at least it’s got me smiling.

nice little summary.

by josh on September 10th, 2009

found a word cloud generator, and put in the URL here. kinda neat what it came up with.

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i hate LA too.

by josh on July 18th, 2009

this is golden….i am thinking this girl needs to be my wife. hot damn!

viva la chinchilla!!!!

by josh on June 26th, 2009

have you seen that chinchillas are making it to the big screen?

awesome commercial:

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just down the road.

by josh on June 16th, 2009

apparently there was a high speed chase right past my apt. last night. when i say right past? i mean literally! it all came to an end, just a block down the road.

i heard the sirens zoom by while i was watching the brewer game, but my place isn’t facing the road, so i couldn’t see. i thought it was just a fire or something. crazy tho…..i go through that intersection every day to and from work.

sad day. RIP ralph’s.

by josh on June 5th, 2009

….so i stop at my local ralph’s today after work. yes, to get beer.

the place is a zoo…..a lot more of a zoo than normal. the weirdest thing though….like half the shelves were empty. holy crap….i am not seeing any great sales or anything…so why all these ppl and why the vacant shelves?

yep…they are closing on june 20th.

that sucks. it’s literally like a block from from me, so i always liked the fact i could just go there for pretty much anything. see….about 2 years ago the CVS (drug store) closed too….but i thought i’d be fine with just my ralph’s.

now….there are gonna be 2 vacant buildings in this tiny strip mall that can really only house a store of that kinda magnitude. meaning…..it’s needs to be a big ass corporate union store….or nothing. judging by the other closings of these kinda stores around the area? yeah….they are gonna be vacant for years.

i mean…this other ralph’s closed down a few years ago in the opposite direction from me. it’s the only store that big…that i’ve seen something else actually go into. what did it get replaced with? some middle eastern run “imports” store. apparently they specialize in gaudy jewelry and old people furniture. needless to say…i’ve never been in there.

….more backstory…..my little indie video store also closed up shop a few months ago too. so…i used to have a drug store, a grocery store, my bank, and my video store all within a block of me. i’ve stayed in my current joint this long because it was nice to have everything i need right there. now all that’s left is my bank…..and i just re-signed a new lease.

fuck. shoulda moved to the beach.

now i have to go to the ghetto albertson’s to get my groceries. either that or the mega-ass target superstore that is always filled with 800 morons. bah….not happy at all.

is the economy that bad….that ppl aren’t even buying groceries? i mean seriously? out of the 4 ralph’s in my somewhat area 4 years ago….only one is left.

sweet “mistress of the road” is back!

by josh on May 27th, 2009

so i made some retarded video like a year ago….maybe 3 or 4 of you saw it.

but it was just me driving to work one morning and bitching at ppl. there was one point in it where i mentioned my “mistress of the road” though…

backstory: there is this girl i see almost everyday on my way to work. we get on the main drag at that same point, and like clockwork…..she’s like always there. now, it was over a year ago that i first noticed her.

however, on memorial day last year….we started this new friday’s off work thing at my work. so to make up the time of a free day off….we had to come in earlier. so, i didn’t get to see my “mistress of the road” for like the last 9 months. my schedule was off from hers. now…my schedule is back to normal, and…..

SHE’S BACK BABY!

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mistress of the road.

see….the thing is….i am not sure if i only noticed her because she’s decent looking and drives the kind of BMW i like….but it’s really not even about that.

i seriously find something fascinating about these situations. i mean, i’ve seen her on the road probably 6 times in the last 2 weeks. to the point where it’s almost disappointing to me when i don’t see her. i know, sounds retarded…..but i know she notices me too. because the chick can actually drive (when she isn’t putting on make up at the light!), and usually ends up getting behind me and following me the entire way until i turn off.

but what’s so fascinating about this to me….is just the fact there is some stranger out there that has become a good 15 mins of my day….and all without ever saying a thing to one another.

i used to ride the bus back in milwaukee….and would run into similar people and situations all the time….but we always at least ended up chatting at some point.

this is different tho. i like the fact i can’t say anything to her. i like the mystery behind the whole deal…..and i love the fact we both eventually turn off the road from one another….and carry on with our lives as normal. only to usually see each other back at the same stoplight the next day.

it’s something simple that makes the day start as right as a cup of coffee.

i don’t think ppl really take the time to pay attention to these kinda of situations around them….and that’s a shame. or maybe i pay too much attention to these things…and should be full of shame?

either way….maybe tomorrow…i’ll just smile at her.

abuncha scammers!

by josh on May 25th, 2009

so everyone’s heard about this “credit card bill of rights”….right?

yeah…it all seems great on the surface. it’s there to protect the consumer and keep these crook companies from raping people. well….i knew it seemed fishy.

the problem is, credit card companies rely on fees and penalties just as much as they rely on the interest paid, right? take away some of those ridiculous fees….and how are they going to make up that money? well, they need to make it up somehow.

i could already see some shady shit springing up a few months ago. one card of mine reduced my credit limit by $1000 just for the heck of it. not that i need that higher credit limit, but when something like the balance based on credit limit can factor into your credit score…..why would they reduce the limit of a good standing customer? this is the same card that would raise my credit limit ridiculous amounts (that i didn’t need) every 6 months for the last 3 years or so. now they are taking it back? how the hell does that work?

about 3 months ago *insert another shitty well known credit card company name here* released a very quiet and fine print change in their TOS to cardholders. basically they whispered how they were going to change the payment due dates on their accounts. this change in their TOS just took effect this month, but the original statement was released to customers months ago. as i double check right now? yep….my payment due date was changed from the 9th of every month to the 5th of the month. i pay mine as soon as i get the statement…so it’s not a concern, but why would they do that? how many people do you think always put off their payments until the last possible day? how many people do you think even read their change to the TOS notice 3 months ago and will remember their due dates changed this cycle?

exactly. meanwhile, they can rake in loads of cash on penalties for all the people that missed their due dates. what possible purpose would they have to push due dates back by 4 days otherwise?

fast forward…..to the best scam ever! i received a letter from the first card mentioned above earlier this week. apparently my account info had been “compromised” and as a safety measure they are sending me a new card. ok….thanks?

now, i get the new card….and not to go off on another tangent…..but what the hell ever happen to the days of being able to activate a credit card just by pushing some buttons and verifying some info? it’s all become just another avenue for a shitty sales pitch!

so of course i have to talk to some indian that can barely speak da engliss just to get my new card activated…..and this is where the best scam ever comes into play. the dude asks me if i know why i was sent a new card….and then explains to me that they were informed by a higher up company that my financial information might have been compromised and they wanted to protect me. since i am such a good customer and all.

even better? how are they going to protect me? by offering me a identity protection plan for only $9.99 a month! are you fuckin’ kidding me?!?!?!

1. umm, i use credit card companies because they are already insured and provide account protection in the case of unwarranted charges. last i checked, i was wasn’t getting my credit through fast eddie down on the street corner. if you can’t protect me, then i’ll take my business elsewhere.

2. way to prey on people’s fears just to make more money with this bullshit “protection” service that should just be a part of your normal business practices. sadly, how many people will probably happily sign up for this? it’s no different than boiler room snakes draining ppl’s life savings.

3. the whole story is a load of crap. how do i know this? i haven’t used the card in almost 3 years!!!! not that i am naive enough to think that just automatically makes me safe…..but i’d love to know how my account info got compromised on a card that is basically invisible today?

it’s all a scam. these companies are all being run by crooks and it’s even more foolish to think the govt. really wants to protect consumers. this “credit card bill of rights” is just making these companies come up with new ways to rape ya. what’s even worse….is the fact all the call centers are being contracted out to india. so you are left dealing with someone that really couldn’t care less about your business while they are reading from a script that’s motivated by greed and dishonesty. it’s not their fault……i mean these people are just trying to make a dime too. but if you are going to rape me at least have the balls to do it to my face. don’t pimp out overseas call centers when really it’s some suit living the high life behind it all.

i am beginning to think tyler durden was onto something….