some pics from the grand prix.

by josh on April 21st, 2008

so yeah, we went to the grand prix on friday.

i was too busy acting like a drunken fool to bother with pictures myself, but here are some that some of my co-workers took:

former NBA guy, john salley:

former NFL guy, eric dickerson:

miss toyota of long beach:

coworkers, jose and kyle:

coworkers, michelle and laurel (i actually took this):

coworker, anthony:

…and speaking of anthony, the dick apparently documented my little ordeal with the stupid bartender chicks trying to play mommy to me. they refused to gimme more beer cause i kept tripping over these stupid tree roots that were sticking out of the ground. apparently they thought i was wasted or something….but the worst part was…i wasn’t wasted!!!!!

so he sends this email around work today….

Whoa! I’m sorry sir, you’ve been cut off.

This must be a joke! Am I on Candid Camera?

Ha! Those meanies!

hilarious, i tell ya. just hilarious.

life lesson: target shopping.

by josh on April 14th, 2008

ok….so my ppls at work insisted on eating at the cafe on campus today. apparently they were having some kinda chicken dog meat and rice or something…..

so i say “fuck that”, and decide to run some errands and cruise over to my local target.

which is totally cool, cause i needed more coffee. i went to the store yesterday, but my coffee was like $12. wtf! i used to only get full bean coffee, but i am getting sick of grinding beans each morning. rough life, i know. but anyways, i get this folgers gourmet stuff….and it’s actually pretty good. but not for $12.

not sure why, but target always has it dirt cheap.

so i am at target, and find my coffee. sweet mother of god….it’s only $8. see!

of course i then realize that all i really needed was coffee….so what do i do? go find more pointless shit to buy! so i go upstairs (yes, this is the 2 story target) and hope something looks cool. it was hot as hell here again today….so i figure, “hey! why not buy a fan for my desk at work.”

so i go get a fan….and decide to cruise over and look at the DVDs.

…and this is when it starts.

on my way over there this old lady stops and and says, “excuse me, can you tell me where the blah, blah, blah, blah are?”

huh? i say, “i am sorry….i don’t work here.” she runs off.

i go look at some DVDs and find nothing really worth blowing my dough on….so i head out. on the way out? this dude stops me….

“excuse me, do you know where the…..”

“sorry man…..i don’t work here……”, i say….but wtf!!!

the dude says, “oh…my bad, just saw the red shirt.

sommabitch!!! yes, i was wearing a red adidas shirt and with my coffee and fan, you couldn’t see that it had a huge logo on the front, or something!!!!

so anyways….i figure i should get the hell outta there…..but on my way downstairs i realize that i do actually need some shampoo. so i hit that up. and yes, i buy shampoo specifically made for a man. why? cause i am that goddamn macho!

but as if it weren’t enough already….on my way out of the shampoo aisle….i get stopped by this chick my age. sure, she’s kinda cute, but she says…

“excuse me, do you guys have those paper shredders?”

at this point i am just in awe. as well as almost offended. like seriously….no offense to the retards working at target….BUT DO I LOOK LIKE ONE OF THEM?!?!??!

so naturally, i say, “oh yeah….they are upstairs. just take the escalator and then take a right. go all the way to the last row and make a left.”

she thanks me and goes on her way.

uh huh, yep. i totally sent her to the isle with the vacuum cleaner bags. heh. even better? the paper shredders are right next to the escalator.

OH BUT WAIT! IT GETS BETTER!

so after i walk away with the biggest shit eating grin on my face….i finally make my way to the checkout. there is about a 2-3 person wait in the 2 checkouts they have open though….

and don’t get me started on that shit. why have 20 checkouts and only open 2? but whatever….

anyways, so as i am waiting in line….i see this girl turn the corner with a paper shredder. hehehehehehe. yeah, needless to say i am just giggling again.

of course she just now finally realizes i don’t work there, and starts charging right for my checkout lane. i say nothing tho…as my smile is enough for the moment.

she reaches the line and says, “you’re such a fucker.”

i say, “sorry, but you were seriously the 3rd person to ask me for help.”

“i guess i had it coming then, huh?”, she says.

“pretty much. sorry.”, i am still giggling.

“well, i guess i should thank you….because after i found the vacuum cleaner bags i was about to give up, so i just went back down the escalator….and what do you know! the paper shredders were right there!” -her.

“funny how that works.” -me

“you’re still a fucker.” -her.

“i know.” -me.

….and by this time i am done with my business there and out the door. was freakin’ hilarious though.

but nevermind that….the life lesson to be learned here?

don’t wear a freakin’ red shirt to target. good god!

bbbrrrrr. cold winter day in socal.

by josh on April 12th, 2008

it’s pretty chilly here. just had to rub it in to those back east.

of course with the brewers and mets currently playing….and the yankees and bosox coming up next, it’s not like i am gonna leave my cave or anything. but it’s still pretty ridiculous that we are already into the 90’s. not sure if i am ready for this crap already.

there will be blood DVD.

by josh on April 7th, 2008

comes out tomorrow.

go buy it or rent it or whatever. it’s the one movie worth seeing this year, dammit!

there are deleted scenes on the dvd, here’s one:

[flv:http://www.bluejayjay.com/assets/milkshake.flv 475 355]

ps. you’ll need to see the film to “get it”….just saying.