tales from the car shop.

by josh on February 27th, 2009

i was planning on just watching baseball and doing nothing today. it being my last friday off. but eh….things changed.

i took off about 10am to head up to the car shop to get an oil change and some rear brake pads. you know, because that is just exactly what i wanted to spend $200 on.

you see, the car shop is a big deal for me. it is like one of my lone places of solace where i truly feel like a “real man”. i don’t really hang around any meatheads, so besides a little sports….i really don’t have many real “manly” conversations with ppl. sure there is the usual skirt glancing snicker, but that all changes when it comes to the car shop.

realize….i know nothing about cars. i don’t want to either. driving sucks….and i only own a car cause i have to.

but there is something great about my car shop experiences. i usually go in there on days when i don’t have shit to do….as i feel bad asking ppl to come pick me up from there just to waste time. so needless to say….the dudes there always give me shit and try to get me to help answer phones and junk while i am hanging out for hours. hahaha.

i respect these dudes though. i’ve been going to them for 6 years now, and even though i may be paying a little more than i could:

1. i like supporting the little local guy
2. i trust them. which is most important, cause i basically don’t trust any of these shady california pricks.

so i was sitting there with jay and jason……just shooting the shit.

(i am pretty sure it’s a man rule that you really don’t disclose the conversations at the car shop.)

seeing interesting characters and what not…..it was soon already noon.

i decided to go to denny’s for lunch. there is one just down the block from the car shop. however….that shit was weird too. i go in just to have a nice quiet lunch by myself…and naturally ppl feel the need to start talking to me.

this time it was an older (in their 50’s) couple in the booth next to me. i was trying not to overhear their conversation, but it sounded as if they were on a first date of sorts. at denny’s? i know, right?…..

but they were discussing all the typical “getting to know” you bullshit. which may be the single lamest conversation in the history of lame expected conversations….but i digress……

anyways…. they started talking to me, because they were talking about how asians and mexicans are taking over all of southern california. HAHAHAH! like, they started talking to me just because i was the only other cracka in there. realize, they weren’t being racist or anything….not by any means…..they were just stating facts. like how places they’ve lived and such are now being overrun by one race of ppl.

which is whatever. i see it happening in certain places too…..but what can ya do? i personally like diversity…..but a concentration of any race in any one place is not diverse.

so we chit chatted a bit about the ppl of socal and had some laughs…..like the crazy white folk we are.

…and then it was back to the car shop.

which brings up one story i can tell. only because it was in defense of everything that is unholy in the car shop. a woman!

this chick was trying to turn into the place and this dude behind her starts honking his horn while turning into the car shop himself. he gets out of his shitty truck and yells at the lady, “learn to fucking drive!”

of course i am sitting there just watching this whole ordeal unfold. the dude comes into the waiting area and starts bitching to me about “the bitch that can’t drive”. i just kinda chuckle as i notice the stupid plugs in his ears and his lame 6x too big skater jeans. someone obviously pissed in this dude’s cereal today.

jay, the car shop guy, summed it up better than i ever coulda…..he walks into the joint and says to the kid, “boy, some people just aren’t as good of drivers as you, huh?”

hahahaha, i bust up.

the lady? she was probably pushing her mid forties and didn’t get phased by him one bit. she made her way into the waiting area just as the punk douchebag was making his way out. of course, he didn’t have such a lip on him now that he was face to face with the lady. figures…..

she says hi to me, and i just smile. she mentions something about pissing this dude off and laughs about it.

“well, i am pretty sure his vagina is just hurt all over today…..”, i say….already realizing she’s a hip chick.

and naturally, because i am just so gosh darn funny….she busts up with what i can tell is a much needed laugh.

at this point, jay comes walking back in with the douche bag….and writes down an address for a different car shop while sending him on his way. HAHAHA…..i am again just laughing. the dipshit leaves…..and me, jay, and the lady share some more laughs at his expense.

“ooppppps, suddenly we are too busy to help him.” says jay.

no doubt. douche bags be gone. see, it just so happens…..this lady is also a long time customer like myself. so jay sent his ass packing instead of dealing with him further. as it should be.

by this time, my car was done and it was time to go visit my middle eastern homies at the 711 for beer and cigarettes.

but again….this is why i go to THIS SPECIFIC car shop. they are humble, they are cool, and really…..i enjoy just hanging out there at times. it’s my “man time”, hahaha!

….was a good last friday off. believe it or not.

no more fridays off.

by josh on February 26th, 2009

tomorrow is my last friday off, and then it’s back to working 5 days a week. how am i gonna spend it? watching baseball and not doing a damn thing!

this week has been long for me. up to my ears in eyewear. which is fine….but it just take a while. so needless to say….i am sick of looking at them for today.

here’s a before and after example of how fabulous i make them look: -clickity-

i know…enthralling, huh?

man, am i sick of this.

by josh on February 19th, 2009

“this” being the goddamn economy!!!!!!!!

it’s just getting unreal.  to the point where all you can do is laugh…..if say, you lose your job, business, house, etc.

because the whole thing is a joke.  the government is worthless, and that includes the california state government and schwarzenegger’s stupid ass.  what i wanna know is…..when is the government gonna start cutting jobs?  and no….i don’t mean cutting your typical state or federal workers…..i mean cutting congressmen!

the congressional districts are made up and based on population numbers.  now stop me here if this sounds just a little bit familiar for anyone that still actually has a job.  but, would it be completely outta line to suggest cutting the congressional districts in half….and making the congressmen take on twice as much responsibility as they used to?

NO!  cause that’s what is happening to ppl in EVERY OTHER PROFESSION!  except the big wigs in the higher government.  i wanna know when they are gonna take a hit too!

anyways…..the point of this rant is, they are shutting down the only radio station i listen to here.  well, not shutting it down…..but converting it from some great talk radio….to just another shitty top 40’s station.  to save money.  like seriously?  who listens to this top 40’s shit to begin with?

here’s a clip of adam carolla’s show this morning.  and actually, it was what i was listening to right before i got to work.  great honest depiction of los angeles about 5-6 minutes or so in….

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hahah….it’s kinda long, but damn am i gonna miss the laughs he creates for me before work.

just to help out a few references he makes here:

the “independent” radio station he mentions? was a great indie rock station here, that closed it’s doors about a month ago. what did the station switch to? mexican circus music. which is called “ranchero”.

“villaraigosa aka villaretardo”….is the current mayor of los angeles. he’s a smooth talking puppet that got caught humping some spanish tv news reporter a year or two ago. which is great and all, except he is married and panders to the great mexican catholic vote.

point is….i am gonna miss this stuff. i’d much rather hear adam rant about the shithole that is los angeles….than some retarded marketed thug rapping about the south central he’s never been to.

either way, this economy needs something. because things are just getting dumber by the minute.

jesse james.

by josh on February 16th, 2009

so i caught the “the assassination of jesse james by the coward robert ford” last night on one of the movie channels.

i am still in awe of just how good of a film this is.

trailer (click to view):

i have not seen something this good in a long-long time.  it was originally released in 2007…..but much like a lot of others (i imagine)….i hadn’t gotten enough exposure of it and just now am seeing it.

there are shots in this that are so amazing…..i can only describe it as “poetry moving pictures”.

also features a soundtrack from nick cave.

brad pitt is really the dude to thank here though.  i am not sure of his exact imvolvement in this picture, but he is listed as a producer too.  and really, if brad pitt even helped an ounce to help get this picture made?  well damn, it’s hard to hate brad pitt.  minus a couple of his lamer movies….when he is taking on projects like this….and even babel too…..he is way beyond the tabloid regular the media is trying to make him into.  the guy kicks ass, even i can say that.

if you get a chance to see this…..do so.  it’s long, but is nothing like i’ve seen in recent years.

modern day robin hood.

by josh on February 10th, 2009

this is unreal. i stumbled across this…..

now….normally with the economy as bad as it is…i’d feel sorry for a person that’s been robbed. but yep, i am not feeling too compassionate for this moron. in fact…i’d even say robin hood is out and about and doing the world some good.

1. she has a safe full of jewelry in her unlocked car, in a wide open garage….and what’s her excuse for leaving it there? “i was tired. from a beautiful trip to paris.”

2. it’s a bentley! again in the news, weird. but hello moron. you leave a wide open garage with a bentley in it…and what do you think ppl are going to assume? in fact….i’d have been scared to go near there for the fear of it being a hidden camera trap. talk about just laying out a silver platter.

3. poor thing. she also lost her louie vuitton day planer! any idea how much those are? anywhere from $300-$1000+. for a freaking day planer! it’s a shame though….i dunno how she’ll ever keep track of meeting the girls at starbucks or her private tennis lessons.

4. best quote ever….”omg, my stuff is gone. everything i’ve worked so hard for.”

*pause*

*suddenly the tears stop a bit*

“and i……..sorry but i love jewelry.”

yeah……i can confidently say, this chick has never worked a day in her life. wanna know how i know that? because anyone that’s actually had to earn something in life would damn well know better than to leave a safe of jewelry….in a bentley…..IN A FUCKIN’ WIDE OPEN GARAGE!

un-be-liev-able!  i don’t condone robbing someone or anything…..but i sure as hell would like to secretly shake the hand of whoever gave these morons a bit of a reality check. honestly….it’s probably for the better.

welcome to orange county, ca.

just another monday night in LA.

by josh on February 10th, 2009

this is what i was watching last night before bed. but holy crap are the cops here just ridiculous. now don’t get me wrong, i wouldn’t wanna be a cop and deal with what they have to deal with…..

….but at times i’ve seen monkey poop fights more organized than some of the police situations here. it took them about 4 hours after the dude stopped to even approach the car. when they finally did? it was with 3 tank looking swat vehicles. then they preceded to take a team of swat “soldiers” from the rear of the car to come up along the passenger side of the vehicle.

at this point they made their own commercial for the glass makers of bentley cars….because it took them like 10-15 tries to actually break the glass on the passengers side window. seriously, talk about anti-crackhead coated glass. (you can kinda see what i am talking about in the video)

but by that time they finally broke the window, the dude had already shot himself in the head. i am sure the guy was no saint, but what a stupid way to die. i can’t help but think that maybe if the cops didn’t turn this into what more resembled a full-on hollywood production…..that maybe this dude coulda kept his life and came to his senses. you can’t really see it on that video, but there were literally about 30-40 cop cars there, plus the swat gear.

not to make light of it…..but it was actually kinda funny. because it was a bentley, and the dude appeared to be black….all the moron media were saying it might be some rapper. hahahah. those wife beating rappers and their bentleys! and the dude was a FIB with illinois plates!

in other news…..

2 ppl (a man and a woman) were arrested for lighting a stripper on fire outside a club. poor strippers. -link-

…..and that moron single mom of 14 kids gave the latest 8 spawns of everything that is wrong is this world….biblical names. yippie. and she was already on welfare before this bullcrap. -link-

flavor of the week.

by josh on February 5th, 2009

folgers brazilian blend.

the shit is good!  target usually has it dirt cheap too.  but for a mid-tier bean blend of heaven, it’s not half bad.   highly recommend.  A++++

in other news?  well, don’t really have much….so here’s a song to enjoy your coffee with.

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