Archive for March, 2009
socal sleazebag of the week: 3.24.09
by josh on March 24th, 2009
i am starting a new weekly themed segment here. you see, since i live in socal…i am lucky enough to be surrounded by some of the most vile excuses for human beings in the world. this will be a feature showcasing the nutbags, losers, psychos, and just messed up priorities coming out of great southern california. ah yes, that sounds all negative, but really….watching the news here is greater than any form of therapy! because there is always something out there to boost up your own confidence in sanity….all while losing a little more faith in humanity. hey, it’s a fair price.
anyways, as the introductory “sleazebag of the week” i present to you: yvonne jean pampellonne.
apparently yvonne here stole someone’s identity to obtain a credit card. hey, times are tough right? economy is in the shitter. jobs aren’t paying as well. uh huh, she used this fraudulent credit card to get her fake titties redone. apparently her old fake titties were getting dated and needed to be replaced. the best part? once the doctors realized what was going on, guess how they found her? by the serial numbers on her old fake titties!!!! bwahahahahahahaha! oh, wait, bwahahahahah! video below:
even better? according to her myspace page she is a single mom. that’s the socal priorities right there! let’s go to jail and mess up a kid’s life all cause mommy wanted her titties fixed! un-freak-in-real. so now the cops are looking for her. which shouldn’t be too big of a search, considering she had time to sign onto her myspace account yesterday. “nevermind the fact there is a manhunt on for me, i gotta quick check my myspace!”
here’s to you, yvonne, the socal sleazebag of the week!
well duh…sorry mr. obama.
by josh on March 23rd, 2009
last week obama was here. maybe you saw him on the tonight show, but prior to that…he was speaking in costa mesa for the orange county crowd. i woulda loved to go as well….but i had to work. and more importantly…..like everything else here, the amount of ppl that showed up were enough to make anyone lose interest.
what do i exactly mean by that? well, ppl were camping out for 2 days prior to get tickets to this obama town hall meeting. needless to say…..i have better shit to do than camp out for obama tickets.
anyways….the real point here. so, that day, i was outside smoking a cigarette at work and all of a sudden i see an entire fleet of military helicopters coming from off in the distance. there were 6 of them or so, but they looked like they were aligned in an attack formation. all i thought to myself was, “yikes….i dunno what that’s all about, but i’d hate to be where those things are headed.” hahaha…..it seriously looked like they were off on a mission to fuck some shit up!
but nope. they were just transporting the president from long beach to costa mesa. hahahaha! my bad!
here are some pics though:
-click to enlarge-
me, the federal juror.
by josh on March 19th, 2009
yes, get this crap! i got sent a questionnaire inquiring about my availability to be a juror on a federal case lasting anywhere from 2-6 months!
yeah, cause i really have 6 months to listen to how OJ killed his wife or something.
the worst part? the economics behind the whole deal! they pay you $40/day and 55 cents on the mile for what it takes you to get there and back. now, ok, i realize these are essentially tax dollars paying for jurors….but isn’t the concept supposed to be a committee of our peers? do i really want abuncha ppl that think a wage below the minimum wage is a good deal…..to really be deciding my fate? not that i am saying pay the drones a grand a day or anything, but how can anyone “normal” really afford to partake in this crap? i am not sure if it’s a state thing, but here companies are not required to pay you for jury duty. mine does if you are salary, but that is more like in terms of having to spend a day to go get out of it. not be a part of a 6 month long trial!!! i might as well go have a baby and just expect my job to be waiting there then too!
it’s just silly. and sadly just another fraction of a justice system that…well,..really isn’t all that optimally functional.
the biggest worst part though?
i go to get my “questionaire” so i can just put it in the mail at work…..and…..i notice something….
THEY CAN’T EVEN PAY FOR THE FUCKING POSTAGE TO RETURN THE DAMN THING!
like seriously? i have to use a stamp on this too? i know it’s 42 cents of whatever it is now…..but it’s a gaddamn government controlled civil service! like the post office is!!!! why in the hell do i have to pay for the postage on this?
you know what i mean? like they can’t just agree to give each other a “freebie” on this thing? no! you know the post master general is sitting there all, “sorry, courts…we aren’t gonna eat the cost of delivering your shit for free.” and then the courts are like, “damn…how can we afford the postage on this shit when our lawyers and judges are all on the public dime too?…..oh well, let’s just make them pay for the postage, and then fine ppl if they don’t actually send it in. hahahhahaha, screw joe the plumber too!”
and then! then! there is no option to use “financial hardship” as an option for requesting an excuse from this civic duty. apparently i have to be caring for a dead person or physically unable to move to automatically get outta this. needless to say….i hope my spiel about losing my apt., my job, and my sanity…gets me outta this. wish me luck.
weird night in anaheim.
by josh on March 19th, 2009
….or as us locals call it, “anacrime”! hahah….
freakin’ crazies…..i tell ya.
water bottle thing.
by josh on March 19th, 2009
so we had a fundraiser at work the other day. sigg donated abuncha blank water bottles for ppl to make into an “art project”. then there was an auction and the money went to some hippie save the world something or another.
it was pretty fun though. as i mentioned, i’ve never really painted before….so it was cool to just mess around with that.
here’s my gem of a bottle:
apparently a couple ppl actually placed a bid on it, but i am not sure who the winner was. i think i’ll just convince myself that the hottest chick in this place got it….and she is now in love with me and my “art”. uh huh…
sarah silverman rockin’ maher.
by josh on March 15th, 2009
real time with bill maher is by far one of the best shows on tv. imo.
this last friday sarah silverman made an appearance.
she rules. simply put.
moving….to nowhere!
by josh on March 14th, 2009
well i was thinking about moving in june. i found these pretty slick lofts that are brand new and still relatively cheap. well, if you consider $1295/month cheap. hah
i might still go look at them today, just to be sure……but my current place just offered me a lease renewal at the same price i am currently paying. plus! they are giving me a coupon for a whole $100 off any month i want. which is kinda funny.
needless to say….in this shit economy, i think i am just gonna stay put for another year. it’s not that i can’t afford to move to this new joint….but rather i just am not so sure where things will be in 6 months. or if i’ll still have a freakin’ job for that matter. so….apparently some where along the lines of life i’ve become, oh, what’s that word?
oh yeah….responsible. which is scary.
oh devil woman.
by josh on March 10th, 2009
so…it appears my somewhat celeb crush is stirring up the sins lately. at least according to this article on christwire.org.
please. of all the ho bags in today’s media? like olivia here is one to point the sin finger at? while she may be a bit of an attention whore (admittedly)…i hardly would say she is corrupting the youth of america with her devilish ways.
the chick’s a nerd….and has a mass following of little dorky gamer nerds. if anything, i think it is a good thing these nerds actually have a real live person to tickle their fantsy. i mean, it sure beats some potion dropping pixel fairy from whatever video game they are balls out on.
…and speaking of…..the weirdo gamers that were living underneath me moved out. i dunno if i ever really mentioned them before, but talk about freaks. it was a guy and girl and they were about my age. they would sit out on their patio below my window with their laptops until the sun came up. literally. they’d still be there playing their dorkass wizard games when i would get up for work. which was fine…..except they would also sit there smoking 4 packs a night too. which wouldn’t bother me….except the chick smoked those nasty clove cigarettes, and the funk would come right up into my window.
needless to say….see ya later wizard freaks with your magic potion 6 steath cloke.
kitty bong.
by josh on March 3rd, 2009
this is so retarded, it’s actually pretty funny. ok…ok….it’s not funny that a cat was involved or anything like that…..but how stupid are some ppl?
-click to view-
yikes…..keepin’ it real nebraska. if ya aren’t humping farm animals, you are now trying to smoke them?