saturday story.

by josh on February 13th, 2010

so i go to the bank today….

and as i am driving in….i find myself following this minivan with the license plate “GOODMOM3″. first i thought to myself, “hehe….nice try, but there are apparently 2 other moms greater than you!”

what was even funnier though? in the back window was this huge decal that said, “peace, love & hope”. huh? “that’s pretty fuckin’ ghey”, i thought to myself. however, i was still really curious about what kinda person was driving this minivan of greatness. she happened to be pulling into the bank too…so it was perfect.

then out steps this fat disgusting pimple infested white chick who was about my height, but easily pushing around about 75 more pounds beyond my own ample plump bosom. i entered the bank right behind her, so of course i had to stand in line directly behind her. she was talking on her cell phone as she stood there. but even better, she had one of those corded ear pieces stringing down her gross pimpled arm as she yapped away so all the rest of the patrons could hear. even though she was sans a cool new bluetooth device, she obviously was a very important “GOODMOM3″ and damn sure wanted everyone to know it. seriously though, the delusional stank of self-importance was just dripping from this heffer like a 4 day old beer fart just waiting to kill some baby bunnies.

whatever….i quickly stopped paying attention to her as i muttered under my breath about the other retards in there taking way too long to finish up their transactions.

i finally step to the teller (of course i get the cutest girl of the bunch), hand over a check, swipe my car, smile, make a joke, smile again, and say bye.

but as i am walking out….i have to walk past this “GOODMOM3″ lady again. i was already in ignore mode, but i couldn’t help but notice her…..because she was now fupa deep in the point of transaction where she felt she needed to raise her voice in discontent at the teller.

“ummm, excuse me….i went through this about 3 years ago and vowed i would never bank with wells fargo again after they refused to give me a debit card after i was going through a bankruptcy! now my credit is within good standings and i am still having problems with you and everyone that works here!!! why i even bother with you people….”, she’s saying with a huge zit infested face.

she was totally disrespecting the teller, and gosh darn it…..something needed to happen. heh, enter me.

naturally, i say….”oh my god!!! a bankruptcy is fucking your shit up like a deadbeat and you drive around in a minivan that’s labeled ‘GOODMOM3′? shame on you for lying to your kids and the WORLD!” ….and i walk backwards out the door to her jaw dropped muttface…just snickering the whole way out.

heh…..not only were the bank tellers all just laughing, but even another patron waiting in line started clapping at me with a look of “awwww, shit….no you didn’t!”. hahahaha, but seriously…..i can’t stand folks that feel the need to be total cunts to customer service people. like they had anything to do with your situation to begin with?!?!?!?! get a grip, get a clue, and get that bullcrap off your lame minivan cause if i ever see it again i am gonna throw a rock through the windshield just out of purpose!

i now feel complete for the rest of the day though. “GOODMOM3″ my ass! who let’s these ppl breed? when i take over the world…..

:p