saturday story.
by josh on February 13th, 2010
so i go to the bank today….
and as i am driving in….i find myself following this minivan with the license plate “GOODMOM3″. first i thought to myself, “hehe….nice try, but there are apparently 2 other moms greater than you!”
what was even funnier though? in the back window was this huge decal that said, “peace, love & hope”. huh? “that’s pretty fuckin’ ghey”, i thought to myself. however, i was still really curious about what kinda person was driving this minivan of greatness. she happened to be pulling into the bank too…so it was perfect.
then out steps this fat disgusting pimple infested white chick who was about my height, but easily pushing around about 75 more pounds beyond my own ample plump bosom. i entered the bank right behind her, so of course i had to stand in line directly behind her. she was talking on her cell phone as she stood there. but even better, she had one of those corded ear pieces stringing down her gross pimpled arm as she yapped away so all the rest of the patrons could hear. even though she was sans a cool new bluetooth device, she obviously was a very important “GOODMOM3″ and damn sure wanted everyone to know it. seriously though, the delusional stank of self-importance was just dripping from this heffer like a 4 day old beer fart just waiting to kill some baby bunnies.
whatever….i quickly stopped paying attention to her as i muttered under my breath about the other retards in there taking way too long to finish up their transactions.
i finally step to the teller (of course i get the cutest girl of the bunch), hand over a check, swipe my car, smile, make a joke, smile again, and say bye.
but as i am walking out….i have to walk past this “GOODMOM3″ lady again. i was already in ignore mode, but i couldn’t help but notice her…..because she was now fupa deep in the point of transaction where she felt she needed to raise her voice in discontent at the teller.
“ummm, excuse me….i went through this about 3 years ago and vowed i would never bank with wells fargo again after they refused to give me a debit card after i was going through a bankruptcy! now my credit is within good standings and i am still having problems with you and everyone that works here!!! why i even bother with you people….”, she’s saying with a huge zit infested face.
she was totally disrespecting the teller, and gosh darn it…..something needed to happen. heh, enter me.
naturally, i say….”oh my god!!! a bankruptcy is fucking your shit up like a deadbeat and you drive around in a minivan that’s labeled ‘GOODMOM3′? shame on you for lying to your kids and the WORLD!” ….and i walk backwards out the door to her jaw dropped muttface…just snickering the whole way out.
heh…..not only were the bank tellers all just laughing, but even another patron waiting in line started clapping at me with a look of “awwww, shit….no you didn’t!”. hahahaha, but seriously…..i can’t stand folks that feel the need to be total cunts to customer service people. like they had anything to do with your situation to begin with?!?!?!?! get a grip, get a clue, and get that bullcrap off your lame minivan cause if i ever see it again i am gonna throw a rock through the windshield just out of purpose!
i now feel complete for the rest of the day though. “GOODMOM3″ my ass! who let’s these ppl breed? when i take over the world…..
:p
quiksilver holiday party 2009.
by josh on December 17th, 2009
so…went to the work party last night. which was actually a lot of fun. it was at the house of blues here in anaheim. here’s some pics i stole from others:
good times, open bar, live band, and plenty of random buzzed induced conversations. least here it’s not really your typical corporate holiday party. you know, the kind where it takes a couple of drinks for people you’ve seen for the last year to finally get friendly….and then it’s back to pretending you don’t know each other the following day. my last job was like that…..but fortunately everyone here is already chill so it was really just a matter of meeting some new peoples. which was a really good thing factoring all the fallen soldiers we lost due to layoffs. definitely a nice treat to unwind for a night downtown disney style.
drink made easy tomorrow night.
by josh on December 10th, 2009
going to see a comedy show tomorrow night in south county. should be pretty fun.
zane hosts the best tv show in the world ever! three sheets…..which is basically just him traveling the world and getting wasted in different cities. hahah…it is actually educational though, as he does a great job of showing the culture and specific boozes to the region. not sure how his comedy will be, but it’s all geared around booze too….so needless to say i am sure i’ll tip a few too many back.
*cheers*
weekend wrap up.
by josh on November 3rd, 2009
ok, so as i stated on sunday, i really wasn’t in the mood to write a whole dealio here due to the copious amounts of alcohol still straining through my defunct liver.
but to quick wrap up the halloween weekend? first it started at venice beach. i hadn’t been there in a few years so i figure it’d be fun to go bum around there for the afternoon. i had to be at my buddy’s place in culver city later that afternoon, so….made perfect sense as he was just a shot down venice blvd. from the beach. if you saw the pictures in the previous post, obviously that can sum up venice beach that afternoon…..but just to touch on a subject that maybe can’t be seen. i forgot how friendly people were there. everyone was out enjoying the day and enjoying the people around them. it was refreshing in a sense that isn’t often seen too much in the ol’ orange county. it was a true melting pot of folks too. from the 60 year old white dude playing basketball with the ballin’ brothers to the sore thumb midwest tourists finally realizing what kinda “medicine” can be enjoyed in the 2 story green clinic. heh. it was a great day, and filled with nods of acceptance in a land that seems to sometimes forget how to be neighbors.
after that it was onto my friend laith’s place. a few pre-concert beverages and catching up was in order while were waiting for his lady friend that was stuck being our chauffeur for the night. it’s really great that we’ve been able to reconnect over the years. see, i always thought of him as a good friend back in high school….and add in the fact he is really the only one i know from 10 years ago that is braving the socal vibe….and well, it’s just nice some familiarity in the mix. even better, it seems as we’ve both changed over the years….we have done so on similar levels. well, i mean minus the fact he spends his time trying to cure HIV and i am fixing shitty photography. hahah.
on to echo park and the dead man’s bones concert. traffic sucked because of all the freaks trying to get into the hollywood gala….so we were a little late. however, it being saturday night in los angeles, the show conveniently waited for us rockstars before it got started. as i said to 2 other gals waiting in line, “it’s LA, everyone is fashionably late.” speaking of waiting in line….as i was standing there i saw a familiar face. walking right past me was this girl that i had just seen a few hours ago on venice beach. she was at beach doing a little dance routine to michael jackson’s thriller. was freakin’ hilarious because of course i belted out a half buzzed “hey! i saw you on venice beach today!” she nodded and her entourage shared a laugh with me. fuckin’ awesome…again, only in los angeles.
the dead man’s bones show was pretty much everything i was hoping for and expected. a small small show in a seedy bar with halloween costumes passing us by in a blur. the highlight was by far a cover of bang bang (my baby shot me down) that featured this little girl from the choir on vocals. i can’t find a video from our show, but here’s one from the chicago show: -click to view- overall though, they rocked it. a perfect choice for a halloween night boogie.
after that it was back to culver city….then to another bar….and then a nightcap of in and out burgers before crashing.
must say though, the more and more i spend time in los angeles….the more i am beginning to think a move is in order. the people are just more friendly. everywhere we went that day people had smiles and were full of awareness. in orange county? it’s like people are too wrapped up in themselves to even notice there are other people out in public with them. like they go out wanting to have private parties instead of embracing the mix of folks that maybe could surprise them. depressing. i keep telling myself i like it here because i can pick and choose when i want to deal with the congestion of los angeles, but fuck that….los angeles is where it’s at. i’d rather be wrapped up in it if the alternative is where i’m at. time to start looking at some options. stay tuned….
venice beach pics
by josh on November 1st, 2009
here’s some pics from the beach yesterday. -click to lauch slideshow-
concert was great too. i’d write more, but still nursing a hangover. so that’ll have to wait.
dead man’s bones tonight!
by josh on October 31st, 2009
so headed up to echo park to take in a show from ryan gosling’s band, dead man’s bones. super excited! i tried to get tickets to a couple shows they did in sept. at a puppet house out here…..but no luck. so needless to say….i sprang at the chance to see the final show of the tour on halloween night here.
here’s a video from the philly show:
let the right one in.
by josh on October 14th, 2009
trailer:
just watched this, and….maybe the whole reason for this post is just cause i am still in awe and don’t have anyone here to share it with. the trailer is sorta misleading, because while this could be considered a “horror” movie….it’s really so much more than that.
unbelievable in so many ways. just watch it if you get a chance.
*note: but make sure you get the swedish version with subtitles…and not the stupid ass english dubbed version. i tried to download this from amazon….but all i could seem to find was the dubbed version. and itunes? i couldn’t tell if it was dubbed or not…so i didn’t want to take any chances. that said, i had to steal it…..but i will now be buying the dvd. seriously tho….who really wants to watch dubbed anything to even warrant people doing this shit? they ruin films. just say no.
shed a tear, pour out a little liquor.
by josh on September 25th, 2009
it’s a sad day in los angeles.
i just read in a LA times article (-found here-) that the bread and butter of the los angeles greeting commission is gonna be demolished, and turned into a parking lot!
that’s right…the colorful and inviting signs for the century lounge, a strip club right outside LAX, will be no longer.
makes me laugh because in the article it mentions the uproar a few years back over a “vaginas r’ us” sign they had. well, because i am a well informed dirtbag….i actually capped a picture of that sign when it was on the news 5 years ago. heh!!! you may have won this round, mr. uptight society!!!!! but the legacy will never vanish!!!
….you will be missed sweet nude vagina sign!
socal sleazebag of the month! sept. ‘09
by josh on September 17th, 2009
ah…..this one is a gem. from the ocregister article:
wtf is wrong with some people? apparently this wonderful mother was down and out about not being able to sell her “massage therapy” business, so she stabbed her kids. yikes, guess all those “happy endings” don’t always bring everyone blissful joy. hahaha. there is also mention of her dealing with a divorce and other things….but still, that kinda stuff happens to a lot of people. it’s not something to get all stabby over.
relax….take a break…..smoke a freakin’ joint for all i care…..BUT PUT THE KNIFE DOWN NUTSO! as you are the socal sleavebag of the month for sept. 2009!
i shoulda been a doctor.
by josh on September 15th, 2009
so…..i go to the doctor today for the first time in like 15 years. yeah, yeah, yeah…..i know, but i don’t really need to pay someone to tell me i need to stop smoking, stop drinking, and to start eating better.
but, i’ve had these kinda crazy headaches for the last 2 weeks so i figured it’d be a good idea to go make sure i am not dying. you see, i have a pretty decent health care plan….but since i am not from california, i had no idea where to start with picking a doctor. so what did i do? i picked the first name i could pronounce outta the little directory booklet my insurance gave me.
however, the worst thing i did was try to look for a doctor close to home. you see….here in wonderful ol’ anaheim….the doctors and people are not right out of a disneyland fairytale. nope, and in fact….how do i put this nicely? they are white trash scum and poor poverty stricken mexicans. sorry, but they are. i am not in charge of the demographic here….but for the most part that is what anaheim is.
so needless to say, i shoulda found some doctor in irvine or south county from the start. i thought i’d still see what this doctor had to offer though, and even tried to do a little research on him. i only found one review….and here it is in it’s entirety:
“Unbelievably cursory examination, and prescribes antibiotics without knowing whether they are needed. I was assigned this doctor by my HMO. I had an appointment for a sore throat. He literally “looked” at my throat from four feet away, said, “Whoa, yup. You’re infected,” and backed away from me. There’s no way he was close enough to see anything, and even if we were, what an unprofessional response. He then proceeded to write me two prescriptions, one for an antibiotic, without taking a culture or anything to see if the supposed infection was bacterial or not! It goes without saying, I switched doctors.My husband likes Dr. XXXXX, though. As he says, “You always walk out of there with at least one prescription.” Yup. Whether ya need it or not!”
ahhhh….what a refreshing review. anyone wanna take a guess at the interaction i had with him? yep….he looked at my throat….with a fucking ear examiner no less….said, “whoa, yep, that’s infected”…..and then wrote me 3 prescriptions for shit i probably don’t even need. i was a first time patient, and i think i talked to the doctor all of maybe 2 mins. at the most. i’ll take the antibiotics….as hopefully i just have a sinus infection…..but he also gave me some crazy nasal spray that i swear tastes like i just got done snorting dandelions….and then some codeine laced cough medicine, which is apparently for the cough….i don’t even have.
oh but wait….it gets better….(and sorry if this is a little bit of too much information as i don’t even care at this point), but i also mentioned to the good old doctor how my headaches are usually just lingering, but they are severely unbearable when humping and getting “excited”. he says, “are you taking any decongestants?” i say, “no….i just bought sudafed sinus heachache stuff yesterday, but otherwise no.” he says, “yep, those will raise your blood pressure and so does sex….so that’s why your headaches are worse then”.
huh? did you even listen to what i said doctor dickweed?!?!?!?!?
ugh…..so unfortunately this brings into light a whole other issue in the news lately. the health care reform. you see….i completely support a change in our health care system….and really….on the surface i support a public option too. however, then i had to deal with what you can probably expect from public option based practices today. again….not to be a dick…..but most of the other people in this doctor’s office were probably already on some kind of state or county funded health program. everyone is quickly packed in, handed a quick prescription, and then shoveled out on their way just like good little lab rats.
now that’s not to say the health care reform isn’t needed or there shouldn’t be a public option….but unfortunately i think i can assume what will happen if things aren’t explored past the surface of these proposals. it’ll be a free for all explosion for the poor…to the point where NO ONE will be receiving the adequate health care they need.
….and that sucks.
funny though….before going to the doctor i even tried to research things on my own. i went out and got vitamins to help with blood pressure and immune deficiency. i bought some dumb nasal spray and even just tried to spend my time on the couch taking it easy to cure this sickness. i coulda wrote the damn prescription myself and just said “google said so, now gimme the drugs i need and keep the ones that are irrelevant.”
but no….instead i needed to spend $35 to have the taste of dandelions dripping down my throat, some codeine i don’t need, and who even knows what kinda other diseases i got from the shitstained kids in the doctor’s waiting room. and i still can’t even get laid without it feeling like my brain is giving birth to some mutant devil spawn!!!!!
…..bah, screw it. imma just have a shot of blackberry brandy like grandma said. and hopefully grandma evolved her cure to include a mickey’s tall boy because at the moment at least it’s got me smiling. 